After Noah was born, the blur began.
I had a 12-month-old and a newborn, and all I can remember is fear and anxiety and exhaustion and crying. Someone in my house was always crying. Usually me.
I remember telling those closest to me, "I wish they could talk. I just want them to talk to me." To which I was told, "One day you will take those words back."
Lord knows I have taken so many parenting words back. But these ones - the ones where I prayed for talking - I don't.
I love the talking - the single word-dropping by the little one, the incessant talking by the one in the middle, and the dramatic talking by the first-born.
On Nico's birthday this year, he looked at me and said, "Mama, am I five in my heart?"
Just a couple of days ago, Noah caught me off guard on the back patio when he asked, "So, how do babies get out of tummies?"
Gabby literally sings "Happy Birthday" at the top of her lungs five times a day.
And these words, this talking, is seriously my favorite part of being their mom.
It is how I know them best. Through words.
If I am honest, it is probably how I know everyone in my life best. Through words.
My days are no longer a blur. The fear has subsided and the anxiety comes and goes. I expect it to. The exhaustion? Well, that one remains. But even with one more in the mix, I see much more clearly now and cry much less often.
I give full credit to the power of talk. To hearing their voices. To knowing what they love, what they fear, what they hope for, and how they feel.
To listening to all they teach me. About love and life and what really matters.
1. What is something mom always says to you? No treats.
2. What makes mom happy? Going to the beach.
3. What makes mom sad? That I hit people.
4. How does your mom make you laugh? When we play with toys.
5. What was your mom like as a child? She was a girl.
6. How old is your mom? I don't know.
7. How tall is your mom? 41.
8. What is her favorite thing to do? Play.
9. What does your mom do when you're not around? You do work.
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? She would be famous for going in a car.
11. What is your mom really good at?
At writing.
12. What is your mom not very good at? You can't go in the street.
13. What does your mom do for a job? She goes to work.
14.What is your mom's favorite food? Japanese.
15.What makes you proud of your mom? That I want to go to the Sounders.
16. If your mom were a character, who would she be? Melanie.
17. What do you and your mom do together? We do writing.
18. How are you and your mom the same? When you're in the car, you change colors. Sometimes.
19. How are you and your mom different? We have different colors. I have brown and you have white.
20. How do you know your mom loves you? Because you have your heart beating so fast and we love each other.
21. What does your mom like most about your dad? That you like his hair.
22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? Chuck E. Cheese.
23. How old was your Mom when you were born? Older. I am going to guess it. 12.
Noah, age 4
1. What is something mom always says to you? No.
2. What makes mom happy? Playing.
3. What makes mom sad? Not being nice to Gabby.
4. How does your mom make you laugh? Playing funny.
5. What was your mom like as a child? Being nice.
6. How old is your mom? 20.
7. How tall is your mom? This tall! (Holds his hands above his head)
8. What is her favorite thing to do? Draw.
9. What does your mom do when you're not around? Cook dinner.
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? I don't know.
11. What is your mom really good at? Drawing.
12. What is your mom not very good at? Rhyming.
13. What does your mom do for a job? Work at work.
14.What is your mom's favorite food? Chinese. Asparagus!
15.What makes you proud of your mom? Going pee in the toilet.
16. If your mom were a character, who would she be? A puppy sitter.
17. What do you and your mom do together? Play.
18. How are you and your mom the same? We're the same color.
19. How are you and your mom different? I don't know.
20. How do you know your mom loves you? Toys.
21. What does your mom like most about your dad? Getting married with him.
22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? The zoo.
23. How old was your Mom when you were born? 21.
