Happy Birthday, Trevor!

My baby turned 33 yesterday and as we are known to do, we celebrated in style. We took the day off from work, slept in a bit, went out for breakfast, shopped for saws, bought some special screws, took the dogs for a walk, and then bathed the dogs (which entailed some nudity and a ton of dirt). We then came home and feasted on grilled steaks, baked potatoes, and chocolate cupcakes with our favorite friends. I mean, really, what more can you ask for? Maybe a tick burred into your dog's neck? Oh, yes, we got that too.

Happy Birthday, Trevor! I love you!

Deep Thoughts from High School Students, Entry 1:

It really is unbelievable the things that come out of teenagers' mouths. In fact, I should probably have an entire blog dedicated to the things that come out of teenagers' mouths, but I've got to draw a line somewhere.

Today, however, a student in my WASL group inspired me to begin this series...yes, that means I am committing to sharing with the world the amazing things that come out of teenagers' mouths. This is Entry 1, and it goes a little something like this:

Teacher (who shall remain nameless because he was just my WASL partner and nothing else): Have you heard of that family with 18 kids that has a T.V. show?

Me: I HATE that show! Those people freak me out! Although, I did watch the one show where their oldest son got married and I must admit, it was fascinating.

Teacher: Yeah, yeah!!! Did you know that that kid and his wife are expecting their first baby?

Me: Surprise, surprise.

Enter in Student (who has been listening to our conversation): How many kids do they have?

Me: 18. And their oldest is getting ready to have a baby.

Student: 18???

Me: Yes, 18.

And here comes the good part...

Student: My God! It's a vagina, not a circus car!

Me: Mouth drops to floor...SILENCE. After all, what left is there to say?

The thing is, I'm not quite sure I could have said it better myself.

The Boot

Let me introduce you to my boot.


This is what happens when you walk around Vegas for 5 hours in flip-flops. Apparently what happens is you sprain your medial arch, and then you spend the next three days limping around Vegas in pain until you decide you should probably make sure you haven't broken any bones.Then you find out that it doesn't matter if you haven't broken any bones because the doctor is going to require that you wear the boot anyway. So you hobble around school all day, where EVERYONE asks what happened, and all you have to say is, "I walked too long in my flip-flops." What is the moral of the story? When you come back from Vegas and then have to wear a boot for two weeks, the idea that "What happens inVegas stays in Vegas" no longer applies to you.

Is it just me, or do I look like I am getting ready to do a strip tease in this picture? I guess Vegas impacted me more than I thought.

Viva Las Vegas!

How do you begin a blog about Vegas? Perhaps I should set the scene. Please note: Both Alissa and I were "Vegas Virgins" before this trip, so our virginity probably shaped what we saw. :)

Imagine this...smoke-filled casinos FULL of people no matter what time of day it is; 2-foot tall margaritas literally strapped around people's necks; "porn" cards strewn about the streets and shoved into your hands by hundreds of porn card pushers; Michael Jackson and Elvis impersonators greeting you as you walk by; hoochie mamas wearing teeny-tiny clothes while men walk behind them to snap their pictures; and magnificent hotels with ginormous fountains that spew out enough water that could probably hydrate hundreds of third-world villages. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am indeed implying that Vegas is the most bizarre place I have ever visited, and for a people-watcher like me, it is also a place that is absolutely fascinating. I would venture to say that any city that highlights everything that is wrong about human beings - greed, lust, vanity, drunkeness beyond all recoginition - is indeed fascinating.

Alissa and I headed to the good ol' Sin City this past weekend to attend a friend of mine's wedding. While we did not strap margaritas to our necks, we still managed to keep ourselves quite entertained. We walked the strip for hours, we rode a very scary roller coaster, we attended a very fun wedding, we ate AMAZING food, we gambled away (between the two of us) $15, and we watched Cirque du Soleil's "Love" and the Blue Man Group. In short, we had a blast, which only reiterates for me how much I love, adore, and appreciate my Alissa.

In the end, we both lost our Vegas virginity with dignity and class, and while we both left saying we would probably never go back, it was worth the ride while it lasted.

Bonita is HITCHED!!!

My Bonita Flanagita is officially married, and I, for one, could not be happier. Bonnie and I met six years ago while we were both long-term subs at the high school. I was immediately initimidated by her natural rapport with students and her extroverted personality that drew EVERYONE to her. She will tell you that she thought I was an uptight sqaure. Thus began our beautiful friendship.

In the past six years we have shed many a tear and laughed many a laugh together. We have also broken up twice, but found we couldn't live without each other and immediately got back together. Yes, Bonnie and I are an old married couple. The truth is, we adore each other and my Bonita has truly become my long lost twin. We finish each other's sentences, we have our own language, and we currently share a duplex. She is the peas to my carrots, so when she cries, I cry, and when she rejoices, I rejoice.

And on Tuesday, baby, we REJOICED (which did involve a little crying)! You see on Tuesday, my Bonita Flanagita married the man she has been waiting for - the man who brings out the very best of who she fundamentally is - and Trevor and I watched with pure, unadulterated JOY. Adam truly is who I would have picked for my friend, as he loves her and her daughter not just in his words, but also in his actions, and for this very reason, Adam is now one of my favorite people in this world.

Here is Bonita getting ready for the day...

...while Abby starts the party. The apple does NOT fall far from the tree.

Here is one of the most delicious wedding cakes I have ever had...

...and here are my friends tying the big, fat knot.

I love you, Bonita, and I cannot express in words how happy it makes me to know you have found your happily ever after. Congratulations, mi amiga!!!