My husband made my heart sing yesterday, and in fact, I am pretty sure my heart is still rocking out today.
Here's the thing - when I met Trevor, I knew immediately I loved him and I knew immediately I would marry him. Leaving out the sordid details nobody wants to hear anyway, let's just say that on about day 11 of our dating relationship I told him I loved him (there may have been some innebriation involved), and instead of making him run far, far away from me, he reciprocated my sentiments shortly thereafter. I would like to tell you that it has all been a fairytale story from then on out, but the truth is, there have been moments where I am pretty sure that running far, far away from me has been on his mind. Perhaps I will delve into this topic later, but let's just say that infertility can take its toll on a marriage, and in the end, we both have often been left to feel unheard by the other.
But yesterday, my husband showed me that his love for me has never wavered. Yesterday, my husband showed me he has been listening the whole time.
I was told I needed to be out of our house for six hours. I was told I was going to a movie with my mother, and so I did. While I watched Robert Pattinson petting an elephant and making out with Reese Witherspoon, I ate a crap load of nachos smothered with a crap load of nacho cheese. It was HEAVEN.
The truth is, the movie would have been more than enough, but apparently not for Trevor.
By the time I got home many hours later, I arrived to a home with freshly cleaned carpets... including the stairs. The same stairs that I have complained about literally WEEKLY for the last 6 months. The same stairs that have become more and more covered with pet hair, reminding me every day that I simply cannot keep up with my home. In short, and perhaps most importantly, the same stairs that have represented my feelings of inadequacy as a mother and a wife.
And my husband cleaned them.
He cleaned the carpets and he cleaned the stairs and I wanted to cry because he HEARD ME. My husband heard me and responded in kind. But it didn't stop there.
On the kitchen counter was our laptop with this waiting for me:
Because you cannot see it, here is what he wrote:
"The last eleven months have been an amazing time. I can look back with wonder and joy not only at how we have gotten to watch little man grow but also how we have grown as parents. You are an amazing mother to Nicolas, the amount of love that you have for him is amazing and the joy and wonder that you show as his world expands is a lesson for us all. You really have made him the center of your world. Just as we are fortunate that Nicolas is in our life and that he will be joined by a baby brother in the near future, they are lucky that they have been delivered to you. I know that the future will be full of life, laughter, and love."
Let's ignore the fact that he forgot the "h" in our son's name, because as I stood there in my kitchen reading these words, I cried and cried and cried...in front of my in-laws and my mother and my baby and I didn't care because my husband HEARD me.
A movie, clean carpets, clean stairs, and words just for me.
God, I love that man.
He heard me and my heart is singing.