Reality Check

Okay, so it's for real. I am really having a baby. Like, really, really having a baby.

I haven't been in denial or anything, and I certainly have understood that this ever growing bulge that rotates and jabs and rolls inside me is indeed a baby. But for some reason, it hasn't felt real until yesterday when I went in for my 36 week check, which I knew was going to be the first time they did any "real" sort of checking, if you know what I mean. And can I just say for the record that this checking freakin' hurts??? Holy Mary, women of America!!! I realize that what is about to come is going to be 1000 times worse but my lady parts are currently a bit tender and checking HURTS! Okay, I digress...

Here is what made this whole "I am having a baby" thing real:

Doctor (with hands placed firmly inside me): Oh! You are already 2 to 3 centimeters dialated and 80% effaced!

Me: I am????

Doctor (whose hands are now on the outside): Yes! Look, you're even spotting (showing me his rubber gloves)!

Me (thinking "Get that out of my face."): Oh.

Doctor: You need to go home and pack a bag - just to be safe.

So I know it could be two days or it could be two weeks or it could be never, but for some reason, hearing the words "dialated" and "effaced" have made this very, very real.

I am having a baby! I would prefer to have this baby after this weekend so I can celebrate my first's first and my second's impending arrival, but nonetheless, I am having a BABY!!!

Somebody pinch me now!