This is how rumors get started...

It all begins with a "discovery." Leave it to my high school students to plot this out.

Today my yearbook students attended a yearbook workshop. While they hated every second of the presenter, they LOVED looking at yearbooks from other high schools all over the country. They looked and looked and looked, and here is what they found:

They are convinced this is my long, lost daughter. This is her senior picture. She attended some high school in Bothell and graduated last year. For the record, that means I would have been 14 when I had her. Those who knew me in high school would tell you this - NOT POSSIBLE.

But so convinced are my students that they have begun Facebook-stalking whoever this poor girl is. They are scaring me, and yet, I must admit, there is a bit of an uncanny resemblance.

You know how they say everyone has a twin in this world? Perhaps she is it. But daughter she is not, dear students. I don't even have one of those.

But I do have one of the other kind...

...isn't our resemblance uncanny too?

10 Weeks

It has been two months since I have blogged. Blame it on him:

And now my darling boy is already 10 weeks old. 10 weeks means cooing and singing and smiling galore. It means the shaking and rattling of hands and feet, and the ever-so-close discovery of sucking a thumb. It means the following of voices and sounds and the throwing a bloody fit when having to sit all by himself in the back of the car. It means growing and growing and growing, so much so I wish it would just stop. It means the almost sleeping through the night and morning cuddles with mama in bed. God he smells good.

But perhaps most importantly it means complete and utter infatuation. I get absolutely nothing done during the day - which until he came I never understood - and I just stare and stare and kiss and kiss. He is the other love of my life and Trevor feels exactly the same way. This is love in its most purest of forms. I can honestly say that with him, I have never felt more unselfish in my whole life. That feels pretty damn good.

Tomorrow I go back to work, which means somebody else gets to do the staring and the kissing and the cuddling for a while, and I am not quite sure how I feel about that. I know I will be counting down the hours until I am with him again. I just hope he doesn't forget me. That freaks me out because, well, I am a freak of nature. He has brought that out in me.

I wish I could slow it all down and yet I cannot wait for all that is to come. To all those who told me it would come (especially YOU Melanikis), you were right. It was so worth the wait.

Cousins, Part II

The whole familia rolled into town this weekend and for the first time, the three cousins were together. At only three weeks older, Alex clearly could eat Nico for lunch. Luckily, he restrained himself and baby Nico still lives. They shared floor time together and even held hands. My brother predicts these two may raise some hell in the future. I prefer to think they will be each other's numero uno amigo and keep each other out of trouble, but that job may be relegated to Ana. She has slid into the role of older cousin flawlessly and I have no doubt these two boys will want to follow in her ever footstep. And can I just say for the record that the Gonzalez's have yet to make an unatttractive baby? I know, I know, I can't take a lot of credit for mine but damn he is beautiful. Watch out world, here they come!

To my son...

My dearest Nico...

Twelve days ago your papa and I recieved the phone call that forever altered our lives. It was a phone call we had expected to wait a year or two for and instead we waited only about two and a half weeks. That phone call let us know you were waiting for us and so we boarded a plane to Vegas to see for ourselves that indeed our dream had come true. There you were, snuggled in your birth mama's arms, waiting for your papa and mama to take you home. Since the moment you were placed in my arms, I have loved you fiercely. You are exactly what I have been waiting for and now this entire journey makes sense.

I want you to always know the unwavering love of your birth mama and I will forever be grateful for the time we were allowed to spend with her. You come from strength, commitment, passion, and love, and your papa and I will do all that we can to honor that everyday. You are the most amazing gift we have ever been given and so we will honor you everyday as well.

I hope we are always able to celebrate our similarities and remember that family has never been, nor ever will be, determined by color or blood, but rather by shared joys and an unwavering commitment to love each other every single day. I want the world for you - you should never be afraid to be exactly who you were meant to be. You are our dream come true, and even though you make funny faces when I kiss your cheeks and your lips repeatedley, I will do everything in my power to make all of your dreams come true.

Nicholas Brian Smith, I love you more than words can express. You have a circle of family and friends who have been waiting for you and who love you deeply and selflessly. I cannot wait to witness all that you become and I will always be your number one fan. You are our son through and through, and have been since before we even met you. We are so glad you are finally home.

Love,

Your Mama

Cousins

This picture of my niece Ana with her cousin - and my nephew - Alex brings me an unexplainable amount of joy. I didn't grow up with cousins of any degree. I suppose this is what happens when you live in Washington and everybody else lives in Florida and Puerto Rico. Yes, my parents were Cubans who broke the mold. In short, cousins have always been a fantasy of mine and to see this fantasy lived through these two makes my heart sing.

Meet Baby Gonz...

Our family grew by one yesterday.

Meet Alejandro (aka Alex) James Gonzalez. He had a bit of a rough journey into this world after getting a bit stuck. I guess 8 lbs., 11 oz., and 23 1/2 inches might do that to you, especially when your mom is tiny.

After spending several hours in ICU, he was finally reunited with mom and dad.

I love this little man so deeply already. Welcome, baby Alex. The world is your canvas...

Lessons Learned

In January, Trevor and I made the decision to become foster parents. After two miscarriages and months of unsuccessful trying, it was time for some forward momentum. Thus began the tedious process of classes, paperwork, background checks, fingerprints, TB tests, First Aid/CPR/HIV training, and a home study. After countless hours of work and way too many hoops to jump through to count, by the end of April we had recieved our foster care license in the mail. We now reached the "waiting stage" of the process and surprisingly, we didn't have to wait long.

Last Monday we recieved a phone call from a social worker informing us that there were three kids who needed a place to stay - a 9-year-old girl, a 6-year-old girl, and a 3-year-old boy. We didn't hesitate for one second and said our home was more than open. As quickly as they came, they just as quickly went away, leaving behind a quiet that we no longer want. Yesterday they left us to live with their aunt and in turn have left us very contemplative, very sad, and yet nonetheless, very appreciative of the time we had with them.

The lessons we learned by having these children in our home for just 10 short days will remain with us for a lifetime. Here are just a few...

• Hide the licorice and the pop.
• Bath time requires rubber duckies and tupperware.
• You don't need lots of toys or other things to keep kids entertained - a big back yard with dirt to dig in and a ball to kick around can be enough.
• Teaching a 3-year-old how to use "please" and "thank you" can be the most intellectually challenging task you may ever face.
• Hearing a 3-year-old say "please" or "thank you" unprompted can be the most rewarding part of your entire day.
• Sparkly headbands and hot pink sandals can make any 6- and 9-year-old girls' dreams come true.
• Strep throat sucks and strep throat times three sucks even more.
• Taking three kids to a movie means you won't get to watch it. Period.
• Sometimes cereal is good for dinner...and never, ever, ever put garlic in scrambled eggs.
• Drawing and coloring and play dough are fun for everybody.
• Hearing "I love you" and "I will miss you" from the mouths of babes can bring you to your knees.
• Peace, quiet, and clean are completely and totally over rated.
• Ten days is not too short of a period to fall in love with someone, and in our case, with three someones.

To L and A and E...thank you for being you.